The Montreal Canadiens will skate it out for one last tour of the battlefield Friday night when they face the Florida Panthers at 7 p.m. at the Bell Centre.
It has not been a great season.
When the 60 minutes and change of ice time is over, management, coaches and players will be forced to look at the remnants of a disastrous season.
It's just like when Tony Stark in 'Iron Man' after he was captured and kept prisoner in a cave in Afghanistan by The Ten Rings, who ordered him to build a Jericho missile.
Less than a year after fans' hopes of a parade with the earth's least-practical goblet were crushed, forcing them to watch a bunch of dudes on Sea-Doos pass around (and break) the NHL prize; the Habs wound up at the bottom of the points list.
A cave, bottom of the barrel, chained in the cellar -- pick your metaphor.
Like Stark, General Manager Kent Hughes and the rest of the crew in the good seats must now try to assemble at least a first-generation Iron Man suit before October.
Fun facts: Iron Man was released in 2008 as the Montreal Canadiens got set for their 100th year of existence. The Habs retired Patrick Roy that year, swept by the Boston Bruins in the first round to end the season.
"I've seen many wounds like that in my village. We call them the walking dead because it takes about a week for the barbs to reach the vital organs," - Yinsen
As unforeseeable and unbelievable as the Habs' Cup run was in 2021, the same could be said for the nosedive in 2021-22.
How fast things turn from a Jericho Missile to a misfiring ex-wife missile (see Iron Man 2).
The Habs were straight-up bad this year.
It shouldn't be a surprise Montreal wasn't at the same level as the team left off in the summer of 2021.
The Canadiens limped into the season with a massive slash down the centre of the team in the sizable shape of Shea Weber (very injured), Philip Danault (signed in LA) and Carey Price (emotionally and physically injured).
With all due respect to Christian Dvorak, Jesse Ylonen, Kale Clague and Sam Montembeault, it's fair to say the craters left by the goalie-defenceman-forward departees were not adequately filled by the dearly departed Marc Bergevin.
That, and the team has had to deal with so many injuries and infections that the team's incredible (in the bad sense) record should not be a reason to panic too much over.
The barbs must be pulled, and the vital organs must be saved.
"Oh my God! Is that the thing that's keeping you alive?!" - Pepper Potts.
"It was. It is now an antique." - Tony Stark.
Is it too soon to talk about Carey Price's injuries long-term?
It is?
Okay.
Moving on.
"Why should I do anything? They're going to kill me, you, either way and if they'd don't, I'll probably be dead in a week," - Tony Stark.
Stark doesn't lick his wounds in the cave, quit, and die; Stark gets to work.
In hockey, that means one thing: no tanking. Not like any Montreal team could ever tank on purpose.
Hughes seems to be doing something similar to Stark, which is a good sign.
He, like Stark, scrounged around the cave, so to speak, and, if the pundits know anything, did pretty well at the trade deadline.
Hughes may not have made a miniaturized arc reactor to keep shrapnel from reaching the team's collective heart, but he did collect a Smilanic, Barron, Schnaar and a bunch of draft picks, including a couple in the first round to work with.
He added pieces and has space to add more, reasons for optimism.
It could be worse.
Is Price still the arc reactor? Too soon to ask?
Moving on.
"Stick to the plan!" - Tony Stark
Stark suits up and gets ready for battle, and Yinsen needs to buy him time. He, thus, runs through the cave, gun blazing and winds up dead.
However, Stark has the time he needs.
Young teams always, always need time, and they also need support from quality vets lest they fall into the Buffalo Sabres, forever lottery draft mode.
The key is not to overpay too fast and wind up loaded down by a Phil Kessel contract or 28 draft picks but no player with more than five years of professional skating and stickwork under their belt.
Hughes seems to know these things, which is comforting.
Iron Man's original suit did not last, but it was effective enough to allow Stark to escape and build a new one, then another one, then another.
This Habs season could be the start of something that will last whatever the equivalent of 27 very long Marvel movies is.
It could also be like the Hulk; a movie franchise that never seems to take off, no matter how many reboots are done.
How many superhero movies have we all sat through?
"Find an excuse to let one of these off the chain, and I personally guarantee, the bad guys won't even wanna come out of their caves," Tony Stark.
Interim coach Martin St. Louis needs some weapons that will scare opponents.
These are the numbers for the year:
- Goals for, 204 (third from bottom);
- Goals against, 312 (bottom);
- Goals per game, 2.6 (third from bottom);
- Goals against, 3.9 (bottom);
- Shots against, 34.5 (third from bottom);
- Power play, 13.5 per cent (third from bottom).
Yikes.
Less 2008 Iron Man, more 1990 Captain America.
In addition to the crop of draft picks, the Habs need to splurge a bit on a solid and decisive goal-scorer who can backcheck a bit.
Maybe get two players.
If Jeff Petry is dished out to another team, get something back.
Johnny Gaudreau, Kris Letang, and Patrice Bergeron are all UFAs this year (imagine poaching Boston's captain?!), but a Bryan Rust-type might be a nice snag.
Oh, P.K. Subban is sitting there too...
Let the pundit speculation storm begin!
"There is nothing except this. There's no art opening, no charity, nothing to sign. There's the next mission, and nothing else," Tony Stark.
It has been a trying personal and physical season for the 34-year-old shot-stopper who wears no. 31, but let's let this one go and think about October.
It's time to put the pieces around him and pay him back for the years of service he's put in.
Guy Lafleur's passing showed Habs fans a stark reality (pun intended): this team has not been great in a long time, and it has had precisely two consistent superstars since 1980: Patrick Roy and Price.
With respect to the teams that fought the good fight and lost, the Montreal Canadiens have not been a team that any team other than Toronto or Ottawa has feared in decades.
There should be nothing else on Kent and crew's whiteboard but the following words: Devenir une force!
None of this ekeing into eighth for a hard-fought, Vancouver-Canucks-style, five-game loss in the first round to the Panthers, Hurricanes or Lightning.
With the assets, draft picks, and cap space the team has, there should be no excuses about putting a team on the ice the Florida teams won't want to come and face.
No. 31 deserves better.
No. 10 deserves better.
