'He taught us how to die, but also how to live': Quebec author's wife reflects on MAiD decision
Quebec author and educator Simon Roy woke up with a smile on Oct. 15, 2022.
He was ready to die.
After Chinese food with his wife Marianne Marquis-Gravel and a glass of wine he could no longer enjoy due to chemotherapy treatments for brain cancer, Roy listened to Lou Reed's "Perfect Day" and began the medical assistance in dying (MAiD) process.
With his wife and two children at his side, Simon Roy took his last breath.
"I was on his heart, so I heard his heart stop beating," Marquis-Gravel told CTV News three days after Roy died. "It was a beautiful way of dying for him."
20 MONTHS TO SAY GOODBYE
Marquis-Gravel said the MAiD process was the perfect way for her partner to die, and she has no regrets about the process.
Roy received the devastating diagnosis around 20 months ago, and the family watched as he lived through the painful and very real effects of the disease.
Last year Roy was hospitalized after he suffered an epileptic crisis.
Marquis-Gravel said he grew paranoid, lost the ability to speak and walk, and grew angry and frustrated with the family. It was then that the writer and teacher began thinking about medically assisted death as an option.
"When he came back, he came back as himself, [and] he didn't want to die like this," she said. "He didn't want to die without language, without being himself, so he chose to prepare all of the things before."
She said the family was lucky, as they made the decision early and were able to say and do everything they wanted to do together for the past 20 months, while the disease took more and more of the man they knew.
"I wanted that for him because he was not happy in the last weeks," said Marquis-Gravel. "I could see that he didn't want to live. I understood his decision, respected his decision, because I saw him suffering."
HE AWOKE SMILING
She said he never regretted the decision to end his life with assistance.
"It was not a life for him," said Marquis-Gravel. "When he took the decision, he never looked back; he was very ready. On the morning, he woke smiling because he wanted that."
Roy posted on his Facebook page a message about his diagnosis and left a final note on Oct. 12 recounting the books that his wife read him four hours a day throughout the summer.
"Maybe this is what has kept me alive and on my toes until now," he wrote.
Roy wanted to survive for two final events.
He wanted to celebrate his wife's birthday on Oct. 13 and the release of her book "Dans la lumière de notre ignorance" before saying goodbye.
She said the couple went to Quebec City two days before his death for one last vacation on her birthday. She could see her husband struggle, but she also saw how he would never give up trying to make those around him happy.
"I knew that he was suffering for me, to offer me that moment," she said. "He was someone very, very generous. The most generous person that I've met in my life."
Simon Roy celebrated his wife, Marianne Marquis-Gravel's birthday two days before he decided to have a medical assisted death. SOURCE: Marianne Marquis-Gravel.
DECIDING FOR HIMSELF
Marquis-Gravel knows that if Roy had waited, it would likely fall on the spouse to decide when to take him off life support.
She said having Roy make the decision gave peace to the family.
"When you are suffering, you know when you are ready, it's a process," she said. "The people who asked for the medical assistance in dying are at peace with the decision. I didn't want to make the decision for Simon. I'm happy that he decided for himself."
A recent COVID-19 positive test means Marquis-Gravel has been exceptionally alone while remembering her husband in silence. She said it has been hard but peaceful reflecting on the man he was.
She said he was a "project guy" that "couldn't wake up in the morning without something to do." His books even caught the eye of Premier Francois Legault, who promoted his "Fait Par Un Autre" in one of the premier's book club picks.
In the end, she said, he remained the impressive person he always was.
"The last day of his life, he was a teacher," said Marquis-Gravel. "He taught us how to die, but also how to live."
Marianne Marquis-Gravel and Simon Roy shared many moments together including the last one on Oct. 15, 2022 when he received medical assistance in dying. SOURCE: Marianne Marquis-Gravel
CTVNews.ca Top Stories
Trump threatens to try to take back the Panama Canal. Panama's president balks at the suggestion
Donald Trump suggested Sunday that his new administration could try to regain control of the Panama Canal that the United States “foolishly” ceded to its Central American ally, contending that shippers are charged “ridiculous” fees to pass through the vital transportation channel linking the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans.
Man handed 5th distracted driving charge for using cell phone on Hwy. 417 in Ottawa
An Ottawa driver was charged for using a cell phone behind the wheel on Sunday, the fifth time he has faced distracted driving charges.
Wrongfully convicted N.B. man has mixed feelings since exoneration
Robert Mailman, 76, was exonerated on Jan. 4 of a 1983 murder for which he and his friend Walter Gillespie served lengthy prison terms.
What's open and closed over the holidays in Canada
As Canadians take time off to celebrate the holidays, many federal offices, stores and businesses will be closed across the country on Christmas Day and New Year's Day.
Can the Governor General do what Pierre Poilievre is asking? This expert says no
A historically difficult week for Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his Liberal government ended with a renewed push from Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre to topple this government – this time in the form a letter to the Governor General.
opinion Christmas movies for people who don't like Christmas movies
The holidays can bring up a whole gamut of emotions, not just love and goodwill. So CTV film critic Richard Crouse offers up a list of Christmas movies for people who might not enjoy traditional Christmas movies.
More than 7,000 Jeep SUVs recalled in Canada over camera display concern
A software issue potentially affecting the rearview camera display in select Jeep Wagoneer and Grand Cherokee models has prompted a recall of more than 7,000 vehicles.
'I'm still thinking pinch me': lost puppy reunited with family after five years
After almost five years of searching and never giving up hope, the Tuffin family received the best Christmas gift they could have hoped for: being reunited with their long-lost puppy.
10 hospitalized after carbon monoxide poisoning in Ottawa's east end
The Ottawa Police Service says ten people were taken to hospital, with one of them in life-threatening condition, after being exposed to carbon monoxide in the neighbourhood of Vanier on Sunday morning.